Hi Everyone, I know I’ve been gone for a little, but I have been steadily developing my business with new things in the works. As one of my favorite quotes says “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” It’s so true! I will keep you updated on exciting next steps that are coming soon.
So, this month carries that special day of love, Valentine’s Day. Some of us will use this day to show our significant others how much we love them by showering them with flowers, balloons, dinner, a romantic weekend away or those annoying singing stuffed animals. It’s a great feeling to get special attention from the one you love and most people in relationships expect to receive or do something special around this day.
However, through some of my research, it showed that some people find it easier to give and be helpful to others, but it’s such difficult task to care and show love to themselves.
I’m curious as to how often you take time to do the things you love or to put yourself first, without feeling guilty. We tend to put the needs of everyone else before us and often shy away from making ourselves a priority, at least every once in a while.
It’s essential to have a solid foundation of knowing and understanding who you are, and what matters most to you. There’s more than a fine line between being selfish and being loving to yourself. When you’ve constantly been a people pleaser, you might feel a little uncomfortable, at first, for doing things that make you happy, but self-love is the most unselfish gift you can give yourself!
The relationship we have with ourselves is one of the most important relationship we’ll ever have, and yet it’s a relationship that we most neglect.
It’s easier for people to connect to the idea of driving a car for a period of time and when the gas tank is close to empty, needing to refill it in order to keep going. However, it’s a challenge for people to understand that their mind, body and spirit is the same way and we need to take time to refill “our tanks” with rest, but also refill with love, patience and peace( to name a few) in order to keep going. Taking care of everyone else all the time and putting yourself at the bottom of your priority list will eventually lead to burn out. When you take time to care for yourself first, you end up having more to give others.
Here are 5 ways to kick off your self-love practice for the month of February:
1. Stop the Negative Chatter…. (In Your Head) – The negative chatter we allow to live in our heads, is crazy at times. We sometimes say things to ourselves that we would not, normally, allow another person to say to us. I read a blog post by Arianna Huffington who shared an excerpt from her book about Evicting the Obnoxious Roommate. The obnoxious roommate is actually that nagging critical voice in your head, which we allow to roam freely. Learn to embrace your imperfections, be kind to yourself and silence your inner bully. Counter negative thoughts with positive thoughts and self-affirmations.
2. It’s O.K. to rest; last time I checked you were human – It’s great to have goals and it’s an even greater feeling when you accomplish those goals, but give yourself permission to sit down! Please do not think you’re slacking for resting. Sleep is a natural healing remnant and your body actually needs rest to regenerate and repair all that was lost during the day. When you don’t get enough of sleep, your physical and mental performance suffers, as well as your immune system. As they said, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and even God rested at the end of his work, so take it easy on yourself, kick your feet up and rest!
3. Forgive Others – Yes, forgiving others is a form of self-care. It isn’t really about the other person, but freeing yourself from past hurts and releasing yourself from resentment and any bitterness. This will free up extra space within your heart and mind to focus on more positive things in your life.
4. Create Healthy Boundaries– Creating personal boundaries for your life is so important to self-care. Personal boundaries are the invisible lines that define what you allow into your space and how much of it you will permit. So, this will be different for each person, however what’s clear across the board is you must have your own “No Trespassing” sign. This helps you determine the type of communication, behavior, emotional and physical interactions, that are acceptable in your space. Plan on people trying to push, manipulate and test those boundaries, it’s up to you to be clear, and reaffirm where you stand. You may feel selfish, uncomfortable or guilty at first, but having convictions about your core values is nothing to feel bad about. You owe it to yourself in this lifetime to be you, unapologetically and live not to please others.
5. Tap into Your Spiritual Strength/Source- This is a vital part, if not the most important(in my opinion) to self-care. If you take time to nurture your mind and body, you have to look at nurturing your spirit. So what does this mean? Connecting to God through meditation, setting aside time for prayer or reading spiritual literature that will nourish this part of you. Doing this on a daily basis contributes to peace from within.
I hope these tips help you understand that caring for yourself is NOT selfish. It’s self-love! Don’t undervalue the importance of caring for YOU.
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Feel free to leave a comment below or connect with me at RaphaelaBrowne@assuredgrace.com