The Top 5 Regrets in Life

               In the end we only regret

I received an early morning visit from friends where we ate breakfast, laughed, shared updates about our lives and also discussed how we’re getting “old” and needed to live life happy. During the conversation, one of my friends brought up a study about a nurse that interviewed those who were dying and asked this question, “As you reflect over your life, what are some of the things you wished you’ve done or did differently?”  And what came out of the study were the top 5 answers from over 100 people below:

  1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

  3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.

  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

 As I read the above list, I thought about how I used to live in such a way that was to please others, often hoping happiness would catch up to me.  I worked hard to maintain an image and most times putting my feelings aside trying not to rock the boat or upset anyone, often thinking other people’s happiness was more important than mine.  It was almost a foreign concept for me to think about me and my well-being, because I thought it was “selfish”.  But in reality, taking time to care for yourself and connect to those things that keeps you “alive” is vital; if not, you’ll walk around as a shell of a person, living a life that is not your own.

Click the link to read more. 

***Also head over to my website at www. to see what I’ve been up to and see new blog posts!

The Bold Life

Google backdraft design-1

If you follow my blog, you know that one of my favorite sayings is “baby steps is still progress”, and creating a website was definitely one of those goals that required consistent baby steps over time.  But, I’m thrilled to finally say I’ve launched!   I have to thank graphic designer, Rebecca Frantzis, who was patient and helped bring my vision to life. (check her out on LinkedIn or Facebook, she’s great!)

A little over a year ago, I knew I wanted to create a business and a space for professional women to learn  they could thrive in their careers and personal lives by moving beyond their self-imposed limits and recreating a new story for where they wanted to be. I made a bold move and have never looked back (read this post to see what I did).  It’s actually freeing to do something you love and that aims to truly uplift others.

You won’t always have everything figured out and everything is NOT going to be perfect, but I encourage you to take a chance on you.

You might have been thinking about leveling up in your relationship, your career, your business, your education, new services, products and more,but you keep “waiting” for the right time.  With exactly 30 days left in this year, I want to encourage you to stop talking yourself out of “being great”, embrace what’s already there for you and know that fear always appears when you are about to do something big or new in your life.

My motto “Live Well, Bold and in Color” is about getting rid of YOUR template for life and embracing life unscripted. When you push past those negative thoughts or fears;  always remember to trust your gut, increase your faith and know that even if progress seems slow or not evident right now, you are on track for greater.

Visit me at my website and feel free to connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or leave a comment below!

Until next time……Greatness Awaits


P.S. If you are interested in knowing more about my services or have any questions don’t hesitate to connect with me!

What Are You Waiting For?


With about 8 weeks left in 2015, have you thought about the resolutions you made in the beginning of this year?  Did you work on those resolutions?  Or have the goals you once were so excited about been pushed aside, and forgotten, due to competing priorities?  Listen, don’t beat yourself up, we all have numerous responsibilities, so it’s understandable and life does happen.

Did you know only 8% of people stick to their resolutions and see it through each year? That sounds a bit daunting, doesn’t it?

Even though the stats above reveal people do not stick to their resolutions, it’s definitely not too late for you to get started on what you’ve hoped to achieve.  Whether it’s traveling, increasing healthy habits, growing spiritually; connecting to a career you love; improving family and personal relationships; or even leaving some not so great habits and relationships behind; no worries, you don’t have to wait until January 2016 to try again, you can begin working on it NOW.

Why don’t you take a look at one of your resolutions and even if you never made one, think about one goal you truly wanted to work on this year, but just didn’t have a chance to do it.

Now look below at 4 ways to help you take action on those forgotten goals:

Write it Down…. Make it Clear:

There’s a scripture that says “Write the vision down make it plain…… For still the vision awaits its appointed time……If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. (Habakkuk 2:2-3).

When it comes to our goals and dreams, it’s a helpful practice to move them from thought to paper. If you only think about it, then it will only remain a thought, but look at writing it down and posting it up as a visual reminder of where you desire to be. Once your goal is written, it seems to take wings and the fulfilment of it is sure to happen under the right conditions at the appointed time. You’ll also notice people and circumstances gravitating towards you to help your vision become a reality.

What’s Your Motivation?

In order to achieve something, you want, there has to be an authentic connection to the goal. Thinking about your values help you to understand the core of who you are.  When goals are aligned with your values, you’re more likely to work harder and stick to them. Take time to ask yourself these questions – “What is motivating me towards achieving a particular goal?” “Why is this goal so important to me?”   Be honest in your answers and you’ll develop a better understanding of why you are pursuing those things.

Break It Down

When goals are vague, your responses to them will also be vague. For example, your goal may be to declutter your home. Great!  So what does that look like?   Where are you going to start?  It all can’t be done in one day.

Think about what room you want to begin in as a starting point and now break the goal down into even smaller action steps. Maybe pick a day to sort out clothes to pack up for goodwill or plan a garage sale.  Going forward, remember to take your bigger goals and break them down into bite sized goals. Breaking your goals down will help you feel less overwhelmed and in no time you would’ve reached your larger goal!

 Make a Commitment:

Think about it, we unconsciously commit to telling ourselves why we can’t do something or why it won’t work.  Try a new thing and commit to getting started with the change you want to see in your life.  The hardest part of pulling off change is getting started, keeping your motivation and following through consistently.  Set a daily or weekly schedule with specific times you will focus on your goal.  Put it in your phone’s calendar as a reminder or get a friend to help you be accountable.

Coaching Corner:

  • Review the four steps in this post.
  • Think about what resonates most with you.
  • Pick out one goal you’ve wanted to work on this year and think about how it would feel to actually get started on this goal.
  •  Also, ask yourself, “What, specifically, will I do to get moving towards this goal and when will I start?

Remember, all is not lost, but it’s actually beginning for you!  Leave your comments at the bottom of the page or feel free to email me at .   I love hearing from you!

As always…. Greatness Awaits


The Case of the What Ifs


So, with the last installment to our Comfort Zone series let’s talk about doubt.

When you’re contemplating going forward in some area of life or embarking on some sort of change, there are the initial butterflies that take over the pit of your stomach.  Then all of a sudden the questions and “reminders” begin to flood your mind like “Can I really do this?”, “What if people talk about me?”  “What if I’m not right about this?”  “What. If. This. Doesn’t. Work?”

Doubt sure has a way of presenting questions to make you start second guessing yourself and all of your decisions.

It camouflages itself as being realistic or presenting the logistics, which are reasons that people tend to give it more attention and never make a move.  When you are choosing to do something that you have never done before, all of those hidden feelings inside rises to the surface, causing you to spend more time on managing the hail of questions from doubt then taking steps toward action.

Know that the voice of fear and doubt will always make a strong case for the “what ifs.”  Your job is to remember to pause, get still and connect to your main source of peace before moving forward.

Doubt is inevitable in life and will continue to do its job of making you go in circles during your thinking process. In order to not ride the wave, check out my short video that will help you get focused and keeping your head in the game as you move out of your comfort zone

I love getting your emails and comments, so feel free to keep them coming!   Leave a comment here or send me an email at   Also, pass this along to encourage anyone  you know who is battling the “What Ifs”.

As always……  Greatness Awaits!

Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable


“You are only confined by the walls you build for yourself” -Andrew Murphy

So, my last blog post focused on “The Mirage of a Comfort Zone”(read here in case you missed it) and I shared that I am making this topic a three part series. The goal is to get you to think past your fears and focus on where you desire to be.

Today’s post will explore getting “Comfortable with being Uncomfortable.”   This is a major move for people and it’s a definite challenge, due to the anxiety that comes with thinking about leaving “home base.”  No matter how chaotic it may be in the comfort zone, it’s familiar. That’s why for some people the door can be wide open but they never leave.

Let’s get started by focusing on one way to begin this process of moving forward!

Check out the link to my  short video to get  some encouragement for the week  Get Comfortable with being Uncomfortable and feel free to share with others!

Until next time…..


The Mirage of a Comfort Zone

beautiful desert

A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” – Unknown

“I’d rather deal with the devil I know then with the devil I don’t know.”   I’ve heard this saying so many times and while I get what it means I’ve never understood why people wanted to deal with the devil at all.

People normally use this saying when they choose to deal with a situation that may not be the best for them, but it’s more familiar, it’s routine, there’s predictability, it’s safe (at times) and it all seems so comfortable.

On the other side of this is the unknown. You’re starting over, it’s something new and there are no guarantees with the outcome. There tends to be extreme anxiety and discomfort with that notion, however in the end, how can you grow or thrive in a place that doesn’t provide any nourishment for your spirit, your heart, or your mind?   You honestly can’t.

Let’s think about it, when a child attends school for the first time, they first start off in kindergarten and every year after they’ll attend a new grade. Within these grades the child encounters a new level of learning and many new experiences. This may be uncomfortable for the child at first, since they really don’t know what to expect in their new atmosphere.  But in order for a child to grow, they must engage in the unfamiliar to gain new skills and confidence.

Imagine a child saying, “I think I’m just going to stay right here in the 2nd grade since it’s so easy, I already know what to expect, I know all of my multiplication tables and I like it here.   As parents, and educators we would encourage our child(ren) by talking to them concerning their fears, but also assure that no matter what, they will do well and be fine because they have what it takes to succeed.

Now imagine if we spoke to ourselves this way more often when fear and doubt crept into our minds, we would develop a pattern of nourishing our positive thoughts more than holding tight to our beliefs of what may not happen.

Remaining in your comfort zone doesn’t necessarily mean you are happy or that you’re even thriving, you’re pretty much just surviving there.  You prefer to manage your current situation then to change it.  You may even feel content at the moment, but it’s only temporary. There’s always a slight tugging at your heart and reminders in your spirit that this isn’t working for you.

The feeling never truly disappear, it’s only suppressed by your desires to mold the situation and spin the story so that it can suit the reality of what you want, and that is to remain comfortable.

Subconsciously or even consciously there’s a certain level of fear and anxiety about accepting that promotion, because you feel you’re doing fine in your current position, but you’re scared of taking lead of a department.  What if you fail at it?

Or you’re scared of leaving a relationship where you both get along well, but deep down it’s not working for you because he/she doesn’t want to make a commitment. You wonder what if there isn’t anyone else out there for me. What if this my last chance at love?  You could honestly play the “what ifs” all day, but the only way to truly know is to give it a try.  You’ll discover that doors will begin to open to support you on your new journey.

In thinking about stepping outside of your comfort zone, here are a few questions to help you get clear about what you want and begin seeing beyond where you are now:

What am I gaining by staying where I am?

How would I feel if I’m in the same place this time next year?

How would my life change if I were to leave my comfort zone?

What am I afraid will happen if I do what I really want to do?

What’s the best part of staying where I am? What’s the worst part of that for me?

What conversation is it time to have?

How is staying where I am affecting me?  My surroundings?

If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I really do?

As you think about where you are now, and process your answers from the questions above, think about what are your next steps in moving forward.  Remember baby steps is still progress!

I will make this topic about the Comfort Zone a three part series, so look out for the next post!  If you know anyone who would be encouraged from this post, please feel free to pass it along.

If you have any questions or a comment, leave a message below or feel free to email me at    

Until next time,

Greatness Awaits

The Pride of Superwoman


I have finally realized that I am not Superwoman………Shhh, don’t tell my ego –Bria Lear

I love that song “Superwoman” by Alicia Keys because it embodies empowerment, co-signing that women are able to achieve anything they want while taking care of the home front. And while this is a symbol of pride to feel like you can do it all, even Superwoman gets tired.

In my last post I shared that I broke my leg and tore a ligament. While I’ve shown great improvement, I’m still on the mend with 5 more weeks of healing, which means 5 more weeks of being still. I’ve never been in a situation in my adult life where I had no choice but to depend on others. I must admit I have the “Superwoman Syndrome”, I do it all, and pride myself in wearing that “S” emblem beaming on my chest. However, it tends to get lonely when you’re constantly doing “everything” and not having someone to lean on at times and connect with.

While there are times that calls for doing it all on your own and for some women it is necessary based on their circumstances, I want to encourage you to look at this independence thing a little differently.

As a child your parents love, nurture and teach you about responsibility, eventually leading you to becoming independent as adults. However as an adult, your independence is not meant to isolate you from others.

In life, my pride has “protected” me, for the most part, keeping me away from dealing with some less than desirable situations. And while I take pride in being the “strong”, tough, independent “I can do it on my own” type of person, I also wonder how often I have “missed the mark”, missed opportunities, and missed connecting with someone because of it. This false pride is blinding and can keep you from seeing situations for how they truly are.

So now that I’m off this leg for the rest of the summer, I’m in my most vulnerable state, needing others for help. I am actually starting to feel good about being able to rely on people who I love and trust for support.   These are friends who feel more like family and they wouldn’t think twice about coming to me and my family’s aide.

I use to feel weird about asking for help, it made me feel weak and so vulnerable, as if it was taking away from my “strong image”   However, I know now that having the courage to reach out to others and express that you need help shows strength.

So, I encourage while you’re consumed with life, building your career, creating your business, raising children, being a boss, or wife that you take time to connect with others. Open yourself up to acceptance or maybe rejection, but learning to be free in genuinely engaging with others

We were not meant to be alone, even if we are living alone, we are meant to connect with others. It’s O.K to put down your cape and take off your shirt with the “S”, because in all actuality you are human and are not asked to carry the load of this world alone.

This week I encourage you to think about the following:

  • How often do you find yourself wearing the “S” on your chest? And when do you feel the need to?
  • What areas in your life could use some extra support?
  • Who’s in your “village”? Identify the top five people you can call on when you are in need of help. If you can’t think of anyone who could potentially be there as support, it’s time to assess your circle. Think about joining a group of people with similar interests to begin building your village.

P.S. If there’s someone you know who struggles with the “Superwoman Syndrome” and needs encouragement with reaching out to others when in need, please share this post with them.

Until next time,

Greatness Awaits

Resilient People Think Differently

press towards the mark

Resilience (riˈzilyəns)- the ability to bounce back from setbacks. To thrive, grow and be effective in the face of adversity, challenges and change.

  • Marketing plan for business completed and ready to roll out before the end of June- Check
  • My speaking points and marketing materials ready for Women’s Entrepreneur Empowerment event in three days- Check
  • Networking events and opportunities to participate in on deck for the summer-Check
  • Unexpected broken leg before participating in any of the abovementioned – Unfortunately ……Check

So while I was enjoying spending time with my daughter on her class trip to the skating rink, the unexpected happened, yes, I broke my leg.   All I could think about was how much this broken leg is going to slow me down from getting all I need to get done. And now I have to depend on others to help me with things that were once so easy to do.   This is a bit of a nightmare for a woman who’s used to being so independent.

Within an instant everything has changed.

This situation has me thinking a lot about how unexpected changes and challenges can occur in our lives at any point in time. This also has me thinking about how we respond to challenges determines how we can best navigate that experience.

As I laid in the emergency room, my mind began going down the road of “if only I didn’t go skating”, “I shouldn’t have tried to skate with my daughter and just watched her” “why did I have to go and do that”? But those thoughts lead to feelings of sadness and feeling sorry for myself. So I began thinking about how I have a positive support system that came to my aid without even thinking twice.   And knowing this situation is only temporary, really helped to reset my thoughts to focus on the positive.

This will not stop me from moving forward in my coaching business, and enjoying my summer with family and friends.

Today I want to share 4 ways to manage those troubling thoughts before they lead to negative emotions and learn to be resilient in spite of unexpected challenges.

1. Face reality, but know there is hope– It’s easier said than done, but definitely possible. During tough situations, we sometimes choose to dance around reality and begin focusing on how it should be and what should have happened, which slows down the process of managing reality to begin moving forward. Whether you’re experiencing a break-up in a relationship, a health diagnosis, layoff, or even passed over for a promotion, once you bring yourself to accept the circumstances, you can begin dealing with your emotions and then manage how to move forward. When you remain in denial, your situation only tends to get worse and this is how people become “stuck”.

2. Push towards positivity/Maintain your joy–  Negative thoughts and mind traps will occur, but it’s how you manage your thoughts that get you through tough times and reduce anxiety levels. When you begin to go down the path of thinking irrationally, it prevents you from creating a true contingency plan. Start paying attention to what is right in your life and it will help you filter out the negative thoughts.  While you’re in the midst of a storm, take a deep breath and then take a moment to think of the blessings surrounding you.   The value you place in that will support you in transcending any difficulty while maintaining your peace and joy.

3. Ask for help- Being resilient is not all about having it together on your own. And reaching out to others for help is not seen as a sign of weakness. Having a solid support system will get you through the toughest of times.   Who’s in your circle? Do you have a solid group of people who will wrap around you during your toughest moment and strengthen you at your weakest? If not, now is the time to build or identify those that will.

4. Prayer…lots of it– Being quiet and still during difficult times gives you a chance to become more centered as well as mentally and spiritually restored. Whenever feelings of pity, guilt or sadness try to overtake you, remember talking to God is a way to become refocused on the big picture.

What are some challenges you’ve faced that you were able to overcome? What are some ways that helped you in becoming resilient? Leave a comment below or inbox me your feedback.

If what I’ve shared resonates with you, then definitely share with your friends and family, and don’t forget to subscribe to my list.

Also if you’re tired of being stagnate and ready to move forward in your life and career, then I’m here for you! Also check out my Contact Me page.

Until next time…Greatness Awaits


So, What is this Coaching Thing?


“I feel like I’m at the bottom of a well with no way of getting out. I can’t even see the sunlight, if there is any at the top of this well.”

This analogy came from a woman who was feeling overwhelmed and stressed with challenges in her career and personal life. There were just too many things she was tolerating and she felt “stuck”.  To rid and manage her frustration, she reached out to me to help make sense of what she was experiencing and make some real changes to move out of this negative space.

May 18th-24th is International Coaching Week which is a global celebration of the coaching profession intended to educate and increase the understanding as well as the impact of coaching.

In general, coaching can help you move forward when you are feeling frustrated or “stuck” with certain areas in your life.   A coach can also help you find your “happy”, gain peace of mind and fulfill passions that you have long been putting off.   There are times you can get through a challenge on your own, which is great and there are times when you are tired of being tired, requiring more support to get pulled out of the “quick sand” in your life. This is where a coach can help.

Four benefits of coaching:

1. You get unstuckSometimes, you have major decisions to make in your life such as, should I change careers or just stay where I am? Should I stay in this relationship that’s going nowhere or move on? Do I go after that big dream or dismiss it? With the many swirling voices in your head it is easy to get confused and wonder what direction to go in. A coach will help you dig deep through all of those thoughts to see which ones are holding you back and unearth those that are your truest feelings. A life coach will help you get clarity and move all the mental clutter out the way.

2.  Find ways to face and overcome fears: Having fears is a    natural part of life, we’ve all been there and some of us are facing something right now.   Some of these fears are fear of failure, afraid of being alone, afraid of what people will think of you, afraid of starting over again or afraid of change.   A coach will help you get to the core of what those fears are, figure out how to change your thought process in managing them and work with you to take action despite having those fears. Fears are a normal part of life, it’s when they hinder you from living a life you truly desire is when they have to go. You will learn about having courage and gain new tools to use whenever those feelings arise again.

3. You are more balanced: It’s can be a crazy life when you have too many irons in the fire or juggling so many balls that you begin dropping them everywhere. The concern about being out of balance is those things that are truly important to you begins to suffer, such as relationship, marriage, parenting, or career.   One of the things a life coach will do is help you   figure out what are your core values, meaning what is most important to you and what are your priorities. Your values are the compass for your life. When you stray too far away, your mind, body and spirit has a way of letting you know. Once you become clear on what are those values, you will then figure out the best way to honor them.

4. You are genuinely happy: If you are feeling or have felt like you are about to lose your mind, there are definitely some things that need to change around you and within you. A life coach will help you work through what you feel is causing your unhappiness (but you may find out it’s something else). The coach will also help you clarify what are your options and explore and strategize how to get there.   As I stated before, once you are clear on your core values everything else tends to fall into place and you can live a life more fulfilled.

Sometimes when we are in the midst of our problems it’s so difficult to hear and see the answers, because of our paralyzing fears and anxieties. A coach will illuminate your blind spots to help you see another perspective in resolving those issues. Once you’re READY to do the work you will begin to see positive changes while getting closer to where you desire to be.

COMPLIMENTARY OFFER AVAILABLE: Because I love helping women find their happy and live more boldly, I am offering a month of complimentary coaching sessions to three women interested in taking their lives to the next level.   If you are ready and committed, fill out the information below by June 1st, and I will be in touch shortly to speak with you further.  Also check out my contact page on the blog which provides more information about my services. As always, please share this post with others and do not hesitate to comment below or inbox me with your feedback.

Until next time…..Greatness Awaits


Feed Your Faith Starve Your Fears

no feeding fears sign

Before starting this post, I want to share that I am so inspired by all of the feedback around my newsletter and blog post from March.  The personal text messages and inboxes were so appreciated!  Also, a big welcome to our new subscribers, I am so pleased to have you join us.  Feel free to post or inbox me with your comments and feedback.  Thank you for forwarding my blog posts to your family and friends and please continue to spread this message to others each month.

In a few short months, it will be a year since I took a leap of faith to step out on my own to create a business that coaches women to not just live and think outside of the box, but to “demolish the box”.  I help women get clear on their vision and align their actions to achieve meaningful and sustainable goals in their personal lives and career.  

Looking back over this time, I have created a growing blog, co-hosted a networking event for female entrepreneurs, developed a coaching business and now invitations are coming in for speaking engagements.  This is impressive for a person who once felt like my dreams were just that, dreams, until I decided to put them into action.

In life, especially when it comes to change, we sometimes tell ourselves all the reasons why something can’t work.  We become comfortable with the idea of  “this is just the way it is” or  “I really don’t want to start over again” so staying in this mindset keeps you exactly where you are.  It may not be where you want to be, but the limits you place on your thinking leads to a limited way of living. 

These thoughts come from a place of fear and we all have them from time to time. The challenge is not to supply those fears with the needed fuel to immobilize or paralyze you from ever taking a chance to move forward.

I can remember being in a place in my life where I was extremely unhappy, for various reasons some were from being overworked, overly stressed, and not spending quality time with my family.  I remember venting to friends and family all the time about how I wanted to leave my job, how I was super stressed, and how I felt like I wasn’t contributing anything meaningful at work, just “busy” without being productive. 

I sang this same tune over and over again for several months, surely driving my friends and family crazy.  But, I realized that with every complaint things around me remained the same and even began to deteriorate.   At the time, my coach said to me “Raphaela, you have shared this story a few times, and it is very clear why you’re unhappy but “What are you willing to do to change it?”   Ahhhhh, the million dollar question, “What am I willing to do to change my situation?”  

It was up to me to make a decision of how I was going to move forward.  I needed to spend more time filling that tank of faith and decreasing the amount of energy I was using on fear.

This question also forced me to stop putting energy into retelling that sad, story over and over again, and create a new storyline of where I was aiming to be.  I began not only stating what I desired, but made a sustainable plan for how I was going to achieve it.  Making my values a priority again helped me regain balance and served as a constant reminder of what was important in my life when I got off course.  I honestly could have kept complaining about how horrible my life was at that time, but I was more interested in pouring into how I could make this change a reality.  My faith was increasing.

After 10+ years in nonprofit leadership, I am settling into my new career of coaching and consulting.   I always had the talent,skills, experience, and training but finally have the increased FAITH to do what I was called to do and my have I gotten far.

5 minute Coaching Corner

  • Identify one fear you currently have that you would actively like to pursue change with.
  • Write down what is most fearful about this situation or problem?
  • Write at least 3-5 actions or counter thoughts you will implement to begin decreasing and eventually eliminating this fear on a daily basis. Don’t be afraid to dig deep in this activity.

If you are interested  in achieving targeted results in your life and business contact me for a 50 minute Complimentary Coaching Session at  also, feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

P.S. Did this post resonate with you? Do you have a question or topic that you’d like to see me address in the future? Email me at to share your feedback.

Until next time…..Greatness Awaits!

How to Slow Down In a World of Busyness


“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates

I sometimes look at the world through the eyes of my daughter because she, as most children, enjoy the simple things in life. With only nine years on this earth she always has the ability to unintentionally make me slow down, breathe and smile.

When it comes to “busyness” I have been on both sides of the conversation. I know what it feels like to get caught up in busyness, wearing that badge so proudly and looking at others with the “side eye” for not “doing” as much.  But, I also know what it’s like to have more freedom in my schedule and feeling maybe I’m not measuring up to the ”busy” person. I decided to let go of all those feelings and I’m appreciating the freedom and flexibility in my life, not feeling one ounce of guilt about it.

Somehow within the busyness we complain about not having any free time or not having time to take off, but not realizing just as much as we created our life of “busyness” we are able to create a life of freedom.  Freedom doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not being productive, watching life pass by, but having more time to live in the present. Busyness has this sneaky little habit of taking you away from delighting in the simple things and embracing the moment.

In some way, with overscheduled lives, we’ve accepted the story that our value simply rests in what we can produce, that we are only loved for what we can accomplish.   We sleep less, we work more, and we accomplish a great deal.

But in the process we begin to forget how to be still,

and think,

and breathe,

and pray,

and have a real conversation with a friend, family member, or spouse.

Want to slow down?  Here are 3 ways to decrease the “busyness syndrome” and free up some time, to breathe and think:

Press Pause–   Lily Tomlin once said, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Take time to slow down and take a step back. There’s a good chance that you’re expending a great deal of energy on tasks that may feel urgent, but not necessarily important. Focus on what is needed to complete for the day.

 Examine yourselfWhat are You Running From?  Productivity appears to be the goal of “busyness”, but under the surface, it may keep us from reflecting on the deeper issues in our lives.   Is it helping you to avoid those thoughts and feelings, and even people, you dread? Is busyness preventing you from confronting an issue that’s begging to be addressed? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and discover exactly what your busyness is getting you, besides the belief that you’re getting more done. Be real and brutally honest with yourself as you explore your answer and intentions.

The Art of Saying “No” (Gracefully, of course)For some, saying this word to others can make them feel extremely uncomfortable. Yet this little word is one of your strongest weapons against busyness. To cure the “disease to please”, treat it seriously and assert yourself. Create a list of all the things on your plate right now and identify those things you want to say no to. Connect with a trusted friend or someone you know who doesn’t have a problem with asserting themselves that can coach and empower you to say that powerful word of….. “No”.

5 Minute Coaching Corner

  • In which areas of your life do you most often feel the need to go faster and faster to keep up? What is making you feel this way?
  • What areas of your life is impacted the most by busyness? Is it spiritually, your love life, family?
  • Identify one way you can become more in tune with this specific area and decide when you will put it into practice.

P.S. Did this post resonate with you? Do you have a question or topic that you’d like to see me address in the future? Email me at to share your feedback.

As always, encourage your friends and family by sharing this post and invite others to subscribe!  Just send them to where they can enter their name and email address or click Follow Me.

Until then…..Greatness Awaits!

The Ultimate Cheat Sheet to Self-Love

Hi Everyone, I know I’ve been gone for a little, but I have been steadily developing my business with new things in the works.  As one of my favorite quotes says “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” It’s so true!  I will keep you updated on exciting next steps that are coming soon.

So, this month carries that special day of love, Valentine’s Day. Some of us will use this day to show our significant others how much we love them by showering them with flowers, balloons, dinner, a romantic weekend away or those annoying singing stuffed animals. It’s a great feeling to get special attention from the one you love and most people in relationships expect to receive or do something special around this day.

However, through some of my research, it showed that some people find it easier to give and be helpful to others, but it’s such difficult task to care and show love to themselves.

I’m curious as to how often you take time to do the things you love or to put yourself first, without feeling guilty. We tend to put the needs of everyone else before us and often shy away from making ourselves a priority, at least every once in a while.

It’s essential to have a solid foundation of knowing and understanding who you are, and what matters most to you. There’s more than a fine line between being selfish and being loving to yourself. When you’ve constantly been a people pleaser, you might feel a little uncomfortable, at first, for doing things that make you happy, but self-love is the most unselfish gift you can give yourself!

The relationship we have with ourselves is one of the most important relationship we’ll ever have, and yet it’s a relationship that we most neglect.

It’s easier for people to connect to the idea of driving a car for a period of time and when the gas tank is close to empty, needing to refill it in order to keep going. However, it’s a challenge for people to understand that their mind, body and spirit is the same way and we need to take time to refill “our tanks” with rest, but also refill with love, patience and peace( to name a few) in order to keep going. Taking care of everyone else all the time and putting yourself at the bottom of your priority list will eventually lead to burn out. When you take time to care for yourself first, you end up having more to give others.

Here are 5 ways to kick off your self-love practice for the month of February:

1. Stop the Negative Chatter…. (In Your Head) – The negative chatter we allow to live in our heads, is crazy at times.   We sometimes say things to ourselves that we would not, normally, allow another person to say to us. I read a blog post by Arianna Huffington who shared an excerpt from her book about Evicting the Obnoxious Roommate. The obnoxious roommate is actually that nagging critical voice in your head, which we allow to roam freely.   Learn to embrace your imperfections, be kind to yourself and silence your inner bully. Counter negative thoughts with positive thoughts and self-affirmations.

2.  It’s O.K. to rest; last time I checked you were human – It’s great to have goals and it’s an even greater feeling when you accomplish those goals, but give yourself permission to sit down! Please do not think you’re slacking for resting. Sleep is a natural healing remnant and your body actually needs rest to regenerate and repair all that was lost during the day. When you don’t get enough of sleep, your physical and mental performance suffers, as well as your immune system. As they said, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and even God rested at the end of his work, so take it easy on yourself, kick your feet up and rest!

3.  Forgive OthersYes, forgiving others is a form of self-care. It isn’t really about the other person, but freeing yourself from past hurts and releasing yourself from resentment and any bitterness. This will free up extra space within your heart and mind to focus on more positive things in your life.

4.  Create Healthy Boundaries– Creating personal boundaries for your life is so important to self-care. Personal boundaries are the invisible lines that define what you allow into your space and how much of it you will permit. So, this will be different for each person, however what’s clear across the board is you must have your own “No Trespassing” sign.   This helps you determine the type of communication, behavior, emotional and physical interactions, that are acceptable in your space. Plan on people trying to push, manipulate and test those boundaries, it’s up to you to be clear, and reaffirm where you stand. You may feel selfish, uncomfortable or guilty at first, but having convictions about your core values is nothing to feel bad about.   You owe it to yourself in this lifetime to be you, unapologetically and live not to please others.

5.  Tap into Your Spiritual Strength/Source- This is a vital part, if not the most important(in my opinion) to self-care.   If you take time to nurture your mind and body, you have to look at nurturing your spirit.   So what does this mean?  Connecting to God through meditation, setting aside time for prayer or reading spiritual literature that will nourish this part of you.  Doing this on a daily basis contributes to peace from within.

I hope these tips help you understand that caring for yourself is NOT selfish. It’s self-love! Don’t undervalue the importance of caring for YOU.

Encourage your friends and family by sharing this and invite others to subscribe!  You can just send them to where they can enter their name and email address or click Follow Me.

Feel free to leave a comment below or connect with me at

Greatness Awaits!



Don’t Throw in the Towel

difficult ant quote

Random Fact: An ant will try and fail over 15 times before accomplishing a task or goal.  If a tiny ant can persevere to achieve a simple task, what are you willing to do to achieve yours?

We are two weeks into 2015 and people, in general, are excited about accomplishing new things this year.  With every New Year we get motivated about creating and implementing those changes for the first month or so, but somewhere around February we slack off and maybe fall back into doing things the “old way.”  After falling off course, people tend to give up or scrap the whole idea of having those goals.  Sometimes it’s just easier to not do anything at all and put it off for another time.

But one thing to remember is nothing worth doing ever comes easy.  Challenges and distractions are a part of life and your journey, how you respond to those challenges makes the difference of whether you will move forward or not at all.
With big goals comes opposition.

Just think back on  those things you have now achieved; there was always a challenge or obstacle that presented itself and you had to make a decision to press forward or quit.  For example, when a person gets their Bachelor’s or Master’s degree, it’s not as simple as filling out an application and saying “Hey I got my degree now”, but it takes time, effort, and focus to finish and graduate.

In pursuit of your degree you may have encountered many distractions or challenges like not having enough money to pay for classes or having to take a leave of absence in order to save up money before returning to school.  Maybe you had a child or was caring for a family member and needed to learn how to balance those responsibilities along with attending classes.  With every challenge a decision was made to stay the course and you MADE IT!
When your goal is worth pursuing you PERSEVERE until it is completed. Here are three ways to not let challenges get the best of you.

  • Don’t Quit – Yeah, I know, easier said than done, right?   Not quitting and pressing forward is all about creating an “I’m gonna do this” mindset.   When looking at a football or basketball game, we’ve witnessed teams lagging behind (sometimes far behind) but then coming back and winning the game, sometimes in the last few seconds.   If a team were to show defeat during the game, then we would never hear or witness those amazing stories of comebacks. Plus, what would be the purpose of continuing as a player if every time you thought you were losing, you quit. Sometimes you have to get yourself in your own personal huddle, give a pep talk and get back in the game.
  • Accept the process– Whatever you’re aiming to do, just know there aren’t any short cuts (well there are, but short cuts don’t always reap the benefits you desire)   For example, if you’re trying to start your own business, know that in the beginning people may not “blow up” your inbox or ring your phone off the hook to get your services. If you want to lose weight, you already know you can take short cuts with some fast diets, but the outcome is not long-lasting. If or when you become frustrated because results are not happening quickly enough, remember to be gentle with yourself (don’t put yourself down), change your thoughts and keep pushing. Long standing success takes time.
  • Take the detour, but head back to the main road– When you’re driving and you see that bright orange sign coming closer saying “DETOUR” it can cause you to complain.   You just want to get where you’re going and not have to drive all around to find the main road again. Detours catch you off guard, makes traveling longer, interrupts your flow and can change a cool, calm demeanor into anxious, annoyed, and sometimes even upset.  But let’s try to look at detours, as temporary roadblocks or setbacks.  Don’t scrap something you’ve been working on or your vision because of a minor or even major life setback.   Deal with the issue head on and proceed back to your goal.  Every now and then detours help you gain a new perspective on a situation or leads you to the necessary people who  will support you along the way. Try not to become so upset with change that you miss the lesson(s) that’ll help once you’re back on the main road again.

Watch this short clip below. Steve Harvey makes a great point about the road to success.

I hope this is helpful as you pursue your goals this year.  Big goals +Focus+ Perseverance = Success

Don’t let your goals go unfulfilled in 2015. As a Personal Coach, I am here to partner with you to achieve what you desire in this year.

Click Here to schedule a time with me to further discuss those things you set out to do this year and feel free to leave a comment.

Make it a good one,


Invest in You in the New Year

Recently, a group of friends and I had a discussion about the goals we’ve accomplished this year and carrying what was learned into the New Year. One of the things that rang true for everyone, was all of our accomplishments was about inward growth. Instead of only setting tangible goals, friends discussed setting goals that helped them to grow from within.

There was a strong desire to change some habits that was causing extreme amounts of stress, anxiety and general unhappiness.

Some friends shared that they made a conscious effort to be more true to themselves and how freeing it was to do so. They decided to no longer give into those things that set them out of balance or cave into the demands of others. In the process of making someone else feel comfortable and satisfying their wants, often times turned out to be to the detriment of their self. One friend shared that this year was about putting those swirling thoughts in her head of venturing out into her own business into action and while she hadn’t “checked the box” that said “goal completed”, she was continuously moving closer in direction of achieving that goal, which was definitely progress.

As you look towards 2015, I want to challenge you to create goals that are an investment in your inward growth. Create intrinsic goals, these are goals related to personal growth and enhancing personal relationships. As I briefly discussed in my last blog, inward growth provides a sturdy foundation and grows your “light” from within which in return improves your outward “shine”. It’s being in a state of fulfillment and joy within yourself.

Examples of inward growth or intrinsic goals is striving for meaningful relationships such as connecting with those who encourage your progress, or creating personal boundaries to not allow negative people in your life or in your space. This can be someone who speaks to you consistently in a demeaning tone even after you share that you don’t like it.

Here are 3 ways to help you begin:

  • Get clear on your values. What is important to YOU?  

Knowing what’s important will help you live a life that is authentic for YOU.   Also you will be more likely to understand your boundaries and things you are willing and not willing to accept in your life.  So let’s figure out what’s working or not working, then create a list of 10-20 values that are important to you.  Here are some examples, Spiritual Growth, Family, Leisure Activities-Hobbies and Fun, Career, Health and Fitness.

  • Ask yourself is your life presently aligned to your values?  

Once you create your Values list, pick out the 5 top areas you feel are currently lacking in your life.  Then pick out the    top 3 areas you would like to begin work on.

  • Create goals that align with your life and begin implementing daily.  

Take action, and spend some quiet time before the New Year to develop small goals and begin putting into action. You can also create a phrase/mantra that will support your values in 2015.   Examples of this are, “I am enough” or “I will say YES to myself”.   These were just some quick examples, but definitely create a phrase or phrases (s) that resonates with who you are and where you are aiming to be.

Nurturing yourself inwardly, will spark the change that will reap benefits throughout the New Year and eventually over a lifetime. Greatness Awaits!

May you and your family have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this blog and invite others to subscribe!  Just send them to, where they can click on the “Follow” button at the bottom of the page. Also feel free to follow me on Twitter @Assured_Grace

How Was Your 2014?

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.   – Margaret J. Wheatley

 Did you realize there are only 21 days left in 2014! (Yikes)

Usually, as we get closer to the end of each year, there is normally a Year in Review of major news events, music or a memoriam for celebrities.   As you take a look back over the entire year, you get to watch everything that has occurred and remember how you felt when those events happened.

Some events give a warm nostalgic feeling, while others bring back feelings of sadness or heartbreak at the very sight of it. But all of those events make the year what it is- full of growth and challenges.  In the end, it generally causes everyone to think about where they are now and their desires for a better new year.

As I look back on my own 2014, while there were some experiences that still give me a sense of pain, there are just as many experiences that promoted a great evolution in myself.  I definitely experienced some major inward and outward growth!

Internally, I have increased my faith by believing that all things will work together for my good no matter what struggles I encounter. I am confident in knowing that I AM ENOUGH (I put that in all caps because sometimes we need to shout it out)– I am uniquely me and no longer need to desperately prove my worthiness to anyone.  I am here full of the gifts and talents given specifically just for me and no “shape shifting” is needed to try to fit a certain mold for others.  And lastly, I know my spirit or “my light”  will always connect with the right people who will help me grow and stretch as I continue on this journey of life.

Outwardly, I can say I have GROWN.  I have opened myself up to sharing my experiences with others, in the hopes of providing encouragement and maybe even be a source of motivation.  There is more joy within myself and it is radiating in my interactions with others.  There is a wonderful glow of confidence and poise when I speak, because I am more certain of my abilities.  Goals that I previously thought unattainable were only figments of my imagination and I discovered that these ventures are truly achievable.

While I am amazed at how my life has unfolded this year, I know that greatness awaits for you in 2015 as well!

I encourage you to conduct your own “Year in Review” and carve out some time to reflect. This exercise is helpful in the following ways:

  • You can track and view your progress from this year
  • It’s a way to acknowledge and celebrate success in different areas of your life
  • You can see the areas you hope to grow in and create actionable steps to get there

Reflection Assignment:

1. What were areas of inward growth for you?

Inward growth is any area of your core being that has stretched, making you stronger. Internal growth builds a firmer foundation and allows the expansion of resources (gifts) that were already in you. Ex. increased faith, decreasing negative talk in your mind, increasing a sense of joy from within

2.  What were areas of outward growth?

Outward growth is a change in behavior, interactions with others and your overall presentation of yourself based on your internal change/internal growth.

  3. What areas do you desire to grow in? (Don’t be too hard on yourself we are all an ongoing work in progress)

The gift of self-reflection and rediscovery is a wonderful way to end the year and plan for 2015.

Greatness Awaits!

This Deserves Gratitude

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” -Cynthia Ozick

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have?  Showing gratitude is usually easier to do when things are going great in life, like getting a promotion, a brand new car, being in love and everything seems to be going our way.  We grow used to our blessings and begin taking them for granted without realizing that the simple things in life are really gifts.  As we approach the Thanksgiving season, and gather with family to enjoy good food and share what we are thankful for, let’s think about how Thanksgiving can become more than just a holiday, but a daily lifestyle which incorporates gratitude.

Here’s a quick list of things we sometimes overlook:

  • Good HealthWithout our health intact, it can be much more difficult to do anything. Think of how miserable we feel  when we have a simple cold or flu. Now think about how you would feel if you lived with a type of illness that impaired your way of living every day. Good health is important.
  • Food– Outside of  tasting so good, it nourishes your body, allowing you to have strength to function each day. Without any nourishment, our bodies would begin to breakdown.
  • A Home– A place that you can call your own, whether you live with family or alone, it’s yours to return to each day. It protects you from the elements (rain, wind, heat, or snow) and allows you to have somewhere to sleep comfortably at night or anytime of the day.
  • Education– We have an opportunity to learn freely in an environment that is conducive to growth. Having an education provides knowledge, discipline and structure to help us become productive people in society and it also a means to gain employment to support yourself or family. Just think of people living in countries where it is a danger to get an education, like  Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani  girl who was shot for simply wanting to go to school.
  • Our senses-(sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell) – There are people who are born without or have lost one of their senses but live productive lives.  Can you imagine just not being able to have one of them?  Which one would you be willing to go without right now?
  • Unexpected acts of kindness from family, friends and even strangers – Several years ago, I got into a car accident when someone hit me and then drove off. Complete strangers came to my aid, helped me out of my car, called the police and stayed with me until the police, and my family arrived. They even spoke with the tow truck driver to make sure I was not charged for storage until I was able to get my car fixed. Moments like these remind you there are still some good people in the world and some might even say guardian angels are looking out for you.
  • Challenging experiences – There was a time in life where you experienced  painful heartbreaks and set backs causing you to lose confidence in yourself, your faith and wondering why this happened to you.  But when you think about where you are today, how you have grown and become stronger from those experiences, you can truly be grateful to have learned the lessons to become a better person from those challenges. 

Video of the week- When you have a moment, view a 5 minute video below of Oprah visiting a family in a Mumbai district of India. This family was grateful and showed a sense of happiness in their circumstance. It would be extremely easy for them to be angry, bitter or depressed about their conditions, but check them out:

Reading this list may have caused you to think about some of the simple things you are thankful for.  I honestly could have went on and on, but feel free to share your thoughts in the “Leave a Reply” section and let’s keep this list going!

P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this, invite others to subscribe!  You can just send them to where they can enter their name and email address at the bottom of the page.

6 Ways to Find Courage to Live the Life You Desire

to find the courage to live the life you desire

It’s so easy to say if you want to create a life you love or gain the career you want, to just go out and get it. Often times you think about all of your responsibilities such as taking care of children, paying the mortgage/rent, electric, water, car note, daycare…you get the picture.  Thinking about all of this can send you crashing hard back to reality.

Maybe you’ve been going back and forth with the idea this is the way life is supposed to be, maybe you continue dragging yourself into the 9 to 5 that doesn’t offer no real opportunities for growth or it doesn’t connect you to what you love.  Or maybe you feel stuck in a relationship that you’ve been in for awhile, but you know it’s not progressing.  I’m hoping this post will give you some real ideas you can take action on today! (At the latest, tomorrow depending on your time zone:)  Click the link to read more

Also, I have moved my blog over to my new website!  I would love for you to come check it out and stay up to date on new posts, free coaching session, resources and special events.

Thanks for all the love on here and looking forward to staying connected at

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One Word Can Lead to Change


Welcome to all the new subscribers! Thanks so much for sharing this blog with your friends, family and colleagues; our community just keeps growing because of you!

I’m so glad to get back to connecting with all of you and hoping your 2016 is off to a great start. As with any new year, new week, or even a new day, there is always another chance to get it right and have a fresh start.

Last December, I came across the One Word Reading Plan which inspired me to think of one word that would become my consistent theme for this year. In past years, a friend and I normally discussed our goals and focus for following year. She would always come up with a catchy theme that would have us excited. This time around, coming up with a catchy theme was challenging, so I shared the One Word Reading Plan and within no time she chose a word that represented how she wanted her life to reflect for the year.

When you focus on one key word, instead of a phrase, it is much easier to think of something that captures all that you aspire to do this year. This word will stretch you, help cut through the distractions and keep you focused in all aspects of your life- spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally or even financially.

So to get started, think about a character trait, or a word to describe a specific value or a word to describe more of what you want in your life. It may come to you naturally; you may need a few days to “chew on it” or you may desire to take the word in prayer to see if it’s a true fit. Once you decided you will know because it will encompass all that you desire for your life.

My one word for this year is “Build.” This represents me laying a strong foundation and growing in all areas of life. I’m committed to putting in the work and time to connect to the key areas of my life that I know that once built upon, will create overflow.

One example, is I choose to build on my spiritual growth, through reading, prayer, meditation and connecting with others who are on this journey as well. Other areas include building relationships, my business and building my connections with women who desire to push past fear, connect to faith to move past areas in life where they feel stuck.

The one thing I know for sure, is you have the ability to set your intentions and put out into the universe what you hope to accomplish this year.

You have the power within to choose how you show up in all aspects of your life. If you want to grow more in your faith; it’s your choice. If you want to improve your relationships or expand your connections, it’s your choice. If you want to live with more peace within, it’s your choice. No one else can make that decision for you.

What about you?

What is your one-word theme for 2016?

Leave a comment on my website or inbox me to share!

Also, for women desiring to take a step towards pushing past their fears and network with other women come out to the Women Living Boldly Workshop on Saturday, February 6th, 1pm at the Point Of Destination Café. Click here to learn more!

Also, I offer a 50-minute Complimentary Consultation Session, click the link to schedule your appointment and take the first step towards your change for this year.

Until next time……. Greatness Awaits,